Wednesday, February 15, 2012
When I receive counsel from you I can hear your voice, and I feel the love so much that it almost always brings me to tears. I will forget myself. Mom gave very similar counsel actually haha. I am going to be Conrad, improve where needed, and be myself. I want to be the best missionary I can be Dad. Sometimes, often in fact, I wonder what I am doing wrong. Why am I not more successful? Why can I not change how I want? But man... I think I just need to wait. I am on the Lord's time right? And as for these people, when I pray for the energy it will come right? I am trying Dad. I'm trying so hard. But whoever said that a mission in burning, dusty Africa would be easy was selling something. This is the hardest and most strenuous, and often Spiritually and physically painful, thing I have ever done. I will never give up. Dad I love you with every fiber of my being. More than that. When I say I will be completely submissive to you and Mom, I mean that for real. I am making obedience a lifestyle now. The task ahead is mixing exact obedience and my personality. But Dad... I am going to be a new man. But I am really going to leap in faith and let the Lord shape me as I strive to serve these people. Will it really work Dad? Tell me it will please. I am treasuring that warm embrace right now. This is so hard. I love you Dad. I dream about you because I miss you so much. But the Lord is wonderful. Jesus Christ is becoming more and more of my best friend and personal Savior every day. I will never stray from this Gospel. I love my Father. I love Jesus Christ, and because He "descended below them all", I have no right to be angry with anybody, companion or Elders or anybody. For I am not "greater than He". I love Him dad. I love the Holy Ghost so much.
Ok I have to tell you, Sunday we were walking and tracting because all our appointments fell thru. We had no luck so I suggested we pray. We did, and five minutes later met a man named Khetia Simiyu. He pleaded for our help, and we will be teaching him. And after I had said some parting words about the true importance of this gospel, he looked at me and said, "You will come to my home and I will slaughter a chicken for you. We will eat together." hahahaha!! I love these people. They are literally the nicest people on the Earth.
But Dad, I love you. I am short on time today, but know that I love you more than ever. Every day, as I tear my thoughts away from family and towards the work, my love exponentially multiplies for you all. I crave your counsel, and in the next email, will you tell me about the influences of the Spirit? "Come on Steven! You are quick and fast like a Gazelle!!"
With eternal love,