"Emotional Roller Coaster of an Email"

As the title implies,this email should make you happy, sad, comforted, anxious, and a plethora of other emotions!

Let's start with "HAPPY": Bryson and Jack were baptized! On Friday, they were both interviewed and passed with flying testimonies! Saturday was their sister's wedding, which we were invited to and we went. Our main objective there was to find and talk to the husband of sister Jepkemei (Bryson's mom). The husband, as i think i told you, is a Catholic man, and fairly hostile towards the church and the members. In the past (according to Sister Jepkemei) he has barely even talked to members. VERY hostile, curt, and rude. Well, Elder Gideon and i found him and went up to speak to him, and he spit in my face! Ok just kidding. We had a GREAT conversation with him. Talked with him for like over ten minutes and built the relationship. The next day at church, sister Jepkemei and Bryson were amazed at how long he talked to us. Good things are in store, and the Spirit of the Lord is working in the stubborn man's heart :)  So Sunday Bryson was baptized by his uncle Steve, and Jack asked me to baptize him :) powerful baptisms!!!!!! I almost cried. I don't cry much over here. I realized that when i feel the Spirit, unless it is super strong i generally don't cry. Crying in the past has been because it has been coupled with emotion. I may cry more at home, don't know! But yes, you will see pictures soon enough. I uploaded tons of pictures of zone conference as well already.
Other good news is that Elder Gideon and I are having an AWESOME time together. We are eating very very healthy and working out and looking good. I daresay we are the best looking and most humble companionship on the face of the Earth. We are SO GOOD LOOKING, and humble. Humble is our name, and ridiculously good looking is our game. Boy... so hot/humble... hahaha ok but really, we are having a great time together. He really understands how to teach and move by the Spirit, which my past companions have struggled with. I am loving teaching with him, and we are both learning alot together. He is even teaching me Afrikaans, the popular language of Capetown. It is like Dutch. I am catching it pretty easily because it is close to German. "Uns het daar geloop" - we walked there. OH YEAH!
As for now, that is the close of the "happy portion"

The following contains news that may shock you... Viewer discretion is advised.

"SAD": Elder Arineitwe has gone home early. I do not know the details, but from what i heard it is not good. He left without informing anybody, and is back home in Uganda. He is very impulsive, and is now regretting his decision. However, he is not allowed to return out again. That decision will be one he regrets for all his life. It goes to show that anybody can be torn down if they don't keep their guard up. There were little things that he was being disobedient to, and it kinda escalated i guess, and now he's home. So... my mission-posterity has been cut off.

Blech... ok well now is the comforting/anxiety section of this issue of "Mess Up Your Emotions" weekly.

"COMFORT/ANXIOUS": Elections are this coming Monday. One week from today, actually. In preparation for said elections, we have built up food storage in each apartment, plenty for a few weeks. We also have clean water storage and bathing water storage. We also have plenty in our first aid kit. As for missionaries staying in our apartment, we will have probably one more companionship, but i am not sure yet. We find out arrangements tomorrow. As for getting along, don't even worry. Not only are we grown men, we are the Lord's servants. Elder Gideon and I are unified and we understand how to lead. I have been placed in charge of overseeing the preparation of the zone, and everybody is ready.
Sunday after church (March 3rd), we are ordered to return straight home and stay in. from there, we will be inside from Sunday up to atleast Wednesday. No emails next week, and if there is violence continuing, we will be in longer. While we are in, we have been counseled to follow missionary schedule still. We sill study, clean the flat, work out, and occasionally play some games. Other than that... well this weekend Elder Gideon and I are going to this awesome mall near our home and we are going to stock up on some delicious goodies, so naturally, being males, one major pastime will be consumption of delicious goodies from America :) :)
We have emergency evacuation plans if need be. We have been given special code thingies to know exactly what we need to do. The preparation is at it's maximum, and I will be fine.
I REPEAT - I WILL BE OK. Please know that things will be just fine. I am confident in this thing because my patriarchal blessing speaks of things i need to accomplish after my mission. I am being faithful, therefore the prophecies in my patriarchal blessing must be fulfilled. I will be safe and smart. Mom, you also mentioned how if you had it your way, you would have an army of angels to guard me. Read D&C 84:88 and know that I literally am guarded by angels of God. I testify of this solemn reality. Read D&C 38:7 and all of D&C 31. You all need to know that I am well-guarded. I understand how you can be anxious. I would be lying if i said that i am not anxious. I am, but i am not afraid. Fear is in opposition to faith, and i have faith in what i have been told. I don't know with a sure knowledge, but i know the scriptures are true - ancient, modern, and personal patriarchal scripture. I will be safe and things will be back to normal soon :)
So i hope that answers all yous questions about that. If you have any more, keep them because the next time i talk to you will be after elections anyway haha!

Uh.... so..... the next section i am just going to label "miscellaneous" because i don't know how you will feel when you read it.

"MISCELLANEOUS": Sorry about all your sicknesses! If it makes you feel better, i don't know if i've ever been healthier! Other than all the dormant malaria running thick through my veins and coursing through my entire system, waiting to erupt, i am super healthy! I have a testimony of the healing power of the Priesthood though. I have seen more than one person be healed in a day of malaria due to a Priesthood blessing. As members, sometimes we don't realize how powerful faith is. Kenyans have alot of faith. It is misguided to false prophets quite often, but they have faith so much. All of us, myself included, should evaluate how deep and quality our faith is. Do we really have faith that we can be healed? Or are we doubting deep in our hearts?
Another question - have you all been going to the temple? Please keep going. That is such an immense blessing and i miss it and the peace and Spirit and revelation that is so rich in there. It wouldn't hurt to put my name and Elder Gideon's name in at the temple. President Broadbent is sending all our names in to the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve. They are fully aware of our challenges and dangers and they will be petitioning the Lord for our safety. Amazing, huh?

That's basically all the news. The Spirit is strong with us, not to credit of our own except that we are trying to fulfill His will and be obedient. I testify of the undeniable truth of this Kingdom we are a part of. The world is immersed in sin, but we don't have to partake. We are in the world, not of the world. I testify that God lives, and His Beloved Son live, and They love us and bless us every hour. Keep His commandments, serve each other, and never assume that somebody knows that you love or appreciate them. Speak up, and never be afraid to help the missionaries there in IF. They NEED and WANT referrals of people they can teach. Help them out please. If it was me, you would want me to be helped, right? I love you all eternally. Things will be ok, and my 15 month mark is around the corner.

Love you forever,
Conrad

Kenya Elections

Dear Brother Schneider:  Thank you for your input.  We will be updating all families of all missionaries throughout the Kenya election process.  You will receive an email from the mission office next week prior to the March 4 election...you will receive another email  when all missionaries will be able to resume their work.  Church security in South Africa and SLC are working with us for precautionary measures.   Elder Schneider and all missionaries will be safe in their assigned flats because they are prepared well.    Please  continue to pray for peace in Kenya as we know that this is a great country and we love the people. The Lord's blessings are being received daily as His work moves forward in the KNM.


Elder Schneider is an outstanding missionary.



Best regards.



President Steven H. Broadbent
Nairobi Kenya Mission
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

From: Dale Schneider <schneider.dale@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Feb 21, 2013 at 12:59 PM
Subject: Kenya unrest
To: President Steven H. Broadbent


Hello from Idaho!  Hi President Broadbent.  My wife and I have been hearing about the election troubles down there.  We asked Conrad about it in our emails with him and he informed us of the precautions that will be taken.  He mentioned that they will be shut-ins for 5 days and possibly longer during the elections.  I appreciate your advanced preparation and measures you are taking to protect the missionaries.  Will you be able to just send us an update or two?  I almost hate to ask that because I'm sure you're busy.  But if you could just send us a quick email and let us know he's alright during that week, we would be very grateful!

Thanks very much, and thanks for all you do for the missionaries there!
Sincerely,
Dale Schneider

HA! Loved that Harry Potter stuff Ben. I giggled profusely. 

So big news!!! I'm getting a haircut when we finish emailing! YEAH!!!!! OH YEAH!!!!!!! OH MAN!!!!!! HAIRCUT!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!?!?! HAIRCUT!!!!! HAIR - WHAT - CUT - WHAT!!!!!! BOOM, HOOP DER IT IS!!!!!!! OH YEAH!!!!!!!!

 In other news, we learned alot of detail about the coming elections and the safety precautions, the musical number and zone conference went spectacularly well, and i am getting a new companion. But, ya know, unimportant.

Love, Elder Schneider




p.s. Ok let me expound a little bit!

First of all, the elections. We were informed that on the 3rd, a Sunday, after church we will go straight home and will remain indoors for at least 5 days! haha so we will be safe. We also may be housing some other missionaries simply because the apartment is so big and roomy (and clean, i might add. We deep cleaned it today.) But if the danger is high, we will either go to the mission home, another apartment, or possibly evacuate. Haha! But, don't worry. We will be ok, i promise. I still have a lot in my patriarchal blessing to fulfill. 

MARCH 4TH NONE OF YOU WILL RECEIVE AN EMAIL FROM ME BECAUSE I WILL BE STUCK INDOORS. So please do not think i am dead or hurt or something when you dont receive an email. The mission will keep Mom and Dad fully updated with current emails on what is happening. So you shall be informed, but never fear. Have faith that the Lord protects His servants. 

As for zone conference, wow. A missionary couple video taped it the second time we did it. Their camera died the first time. In my opinion the first was better, but both were good. Wow wow! Everybody loved it, and President and Sister B called me for like a day after thanking me for it. I did not do it alone though, Sister Thorne had a HUGE part to play in it. But we also did a surprise one, "Homeward Bound", for all the departing missionaries. People cried during all our numbers. YES! I am excited to make some when i get home. All of you prepare to participate. 

MY new companion is... drum roll.... ELDER GIDEON!!!!!! YEEEEAAAHHHHH!!!!!! Yes, it is the same Elder Gideon from South Africa who is a personal trainer in Capetown! His mother is a big shot with Reebok or some big ole' sports company, and he can get me cool discounts too :) He is a GREAT missionary, and we get along awesome from the time we spent together in Kilungu. I am SO EXCITED!!!! FEAR, BENJAMIN AND DANIEL. I HAVE ONE OF CAPETOWN'S BEST PERSONAL TRAINERS AS MY COMPANION. EVERY DAY IS A WORKOUT DAY!!!!!! Except Sunday.

So please also tell Bishop Landers thank you for me!!!! I totally forgot to have you tell him thank you!!!! A few weeks ago i received a package from him and feasted on delicious goodies and read inspiring notes from the Young Men and some confessions from young women about crushes and stuff. Tafadhali wombia Bishop nimesema asante sana!!!!!!! (please tell Bishop i say thank you very much!)

Well this week was good. We had to postpone some baptisms, but this coming Sunday we are baptizing at least 2. Bryson and Jack, son and nephew (respectively) of Sister Evelyn Jepkemei. She has been a member for a while, but her Catholic husband has kept the 2 boys from being baptized. Now they are 18 and have chosen to be baptized and get out on missions. They are powerful and totally prepared. Sister Melen, a simple and sweet lady of around 40 or so years, maybe 45, is also being baptized most likely this coming sunday. She is so sweet. I have a love for her that can be called compassion. I just want her to be happy and at peace. We also started teaching her oldest son this week, and he will be baptized. Our teaching pool is deep and happy! 

Most of our week consisted of zone conference and what i mentioned above, and also my keyboard teaching classes are going well. 3 of my students are REALLY doing well. I took pictures and everything, but this computer is poop so it ain't working. 

I'm going to take Elder Omara out to dinner or lunch this week, and my home card is working again :D whatever you did, thanks!! We were bored last week too, so we took some funny videos in our apartment and i gave you a video tour. I may send that one soon because i almost have filled it up. I am glad you liked the videos. Yeah.. 4th of July was... peculiar... 

Well, all's good in the neighborhood! I love the Lord, the Church is true. I haven't a single doubt in my heart or mind that this is the truth. I intend to faithfully serve the Lord in ANY calling i receive for the rest of mortality. I will never stray or budge on my standards. I even resigned a few weeks ago to give myself strict dating standards as an RM. No being in a parked car alone, NEVER in a house alone, save seriously passionate kissing until marriage, etc. (when i say alone, i mean me and a woman). I fully intend to keep these standards. I told myself, "Conrad, don't say something like this to yourself if you're gonna go home and break it." So i resolved in my soul, it is final. 

Love you all so much. You are my best friends and i love you with an undying love! I will be safe, i will have the Spirit! You do the same, and all shall be well in Zion! ;)

Love, Conrad

Usijali jamaa yangu! (You don't worry, my family!)

Since i have no time, as you all know, let me be brief, bold, bodacious, and butterfly. Wait no, not butterfly. But the first three, yes.

Safety: I have not seen anything with guns or bombs for a long time. In fact, me personally, i have never been around an area where there was any craziness going on. I have been blessed. As for what happened after nominations, there was just some people being beat up and some homes being burned and tires burned in the streets. It was far from our home though, and nobody died. Since then, all has been very peaceful! We still aren't going to Kibera. When election time comes, around March, things will get tense. My guess is this: for at least one week, President Broadbent will have me and my companion stay indoors. During, before by a bit, and after elections he will just have us stay around home. I highly doubt we will be out working when that time comes. So "be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with [me], whithersoever [I go]." I forgot the reference to that... Joshua 1:9? Any other questions about my security? You can ask so i can put your minds at rest about them. And don't worry guys, i won't lie just to make you not worry. I will answer honestly. 

Zone conference is this Wednesday, and i got one of the senior couples to video tape our number. It is beautiful, and will be a real treat for everyone. When i get home, you can bet your bottom dollar imma be makin dem musical numbuhs fa sho hizzy fizzang posho lil piddy!!!!!! AND, this transfer is one week short because of the MTC time shortened, so transfer news is this Saturday. I may be getting a new companion. Do you realize something? This new guy may be my 3rd to last companion. Unless you count my eternal companion, which makes him my 4th to last. 

Durr....... well now we are going to go and teach some guys that are being baptized in 2 Sundays. Life is good, and i am regular (colonary speaking). Also, when i get home, first chance i get to go camping i am growing out my beard. OH YEAH! I can grow a nice goatee in like, 4 days or so. I think when i go camping i will grow a Gandalf beard... then go to the temple... no that's evil... but oh yeah, i selected some events that will happen upon arriving back in the USA:

1. Enter the car and listen to Elton John on the way home.
2. Upon arriving home, hug Katie and Koko (unless she's decomposing)
3. Kiss my piano.
- forgot one, go in my room and offer a prayer of thanks.
4. Remove my suit coat and pants and shirt and beat Benjamin and Daniel into the carpet.
5. Eat some delicious Mexican food that Mom makes :)
6. Get into comfy clothes, get about 10 or 15 blankets, and watch as many movies as time will allow while eating popcorn and all manner of horribly unhealthy foods.
7. Next day, TEMPLE. No budging on this one. 
8. Go to Great Harvest and get some steamy delicious bread.
9. Visit Grandma and Uncle Matt (unless they come to the temple with us)
10. Hang out with Tanner and Justin at our house.
11. Use our toilet. And shower.

So... i love you all! Those are some return home items. BUT! We got ten months to go my dear eternal family! Endure to the End, for it comes quickly!!!! :)

Love forever, Conrad

MAH FIRST FAMILY EMAIL!!!! BOOYAH!!!!!

As the title so boldly and Cyborgishly ( Ben and Dan should get that) implies, this is the first family email. I will also write brief emails to each of you, but ya'll gotsta hear the stuff that's happening. Pamoja! (together)

This week went well. A little bit tough, but well. President Broadbent has forbid us to go down to Kibera at all now. We haven't seen any violence since the days of nominations a few weeks ago, and there is likely not to be much up until elections time, according to the natives of Kibera. It is a little tough, because a large portion of our working area was Kibera, and now we are not going there. But as far as people doing crazy stuff to Westerners, we purposefully make friends with EVERYBODY, and greet everybody with a warm smile, because when everybody is our friend, nobody is our enemy! This can have a universal application, even for you guys at home (especially Ben and Dan in school). We are being safe, we are home by a reasonable time. We feel the Lord's protection and guidance. Most of our appointments are at the church building, so all is well. We are smart and have no desire to be men according to the world's standard. Men according to the world's standard get injured and have to "spend their life breathing through a colostomy bag" (Major Payne). Play it smart, not "manly". Even Elder Omara, a black belt, who is dangerously skilled in martial arts (especially using nun chucks, seriously), responded thus when i asked him what he would do if somebody approached him with a knife and he had no weapon: "What do i do? I turn around and run as fast as i can! You can't block a knife with your arm! Better to live to fight another day than take a stupid risk." Words of wisdom, applicable in many situations.

We are doing service at a Catholic-sponsored hospital known as St. Mary's. No, we are not shooting people up and feeding tablets to patients. We are working in a pharmacy, bottling and packaging medicines. It's great! I made 2 good friends there - Simon and Terry. They came to my keyboarding class last Saturday and we invited them to church. Haven't come yet, but the Lord has His good time :)

So Mom asked for some input on her upcoming talk on "Spiritual Reservoirs". So i thought maybe i would send something to you all! A spiritual reservoir is a funny term, because as far as building up and storing spirituality, it is a misnomer. If you are not building your spirituality, it is decreasing. It is more like a bucket with a hole. As much as you put something into it, it will fill and increase. When you stop, it leaks and diminishes. That water in the bucket can also be chilled and turned to slush, which would make the water leak out more slowly! How do we chill it to slush? "Hope is the anchor of our souls", said James E. Faust.  Hope is actively believing that we are going to receive something more and better. When somebody comes and throws a spiritual rock in our spiritual reservoir bucket, it may toss some water out, but if we slushify that water in our bucket, less goes out, and therefore we build from where we are, not having to backslide. Doubt, anger, and lack of patience cuts a bigger hole. Doubt especially. Do you realize that if the Devil can get us to doubt something or someone, especially the power our God and Savior has, then not only will we not see results because faith won't work, but we begin to turn to alternative means, primarily our own endeavors. When we try to do things on our own, we fail. A STORY! Sister Jepkemei, a sister in Langata branch, has a Catholic husband who is way too argumentative and critical of the church, even with no valid reasons. We were talking with Sister Jepkemei about this (not beyond our stewardship, as this fully belongs to the bishop), and after going through everything, something came to my mind which i told her: "Sister Jepkemei, here's the big problem. For too long we have been relying on our own means and brainpower and ideas to solve this problem. I think it is time to rely on Jesus Christ rather than ourselves."  We resolved to fast together with her children, whom the husband has forbid to be baptized as long as they are underage. Jesus Christ gave simple and profound counsel when the Apostles failed to cast out Legion - "Howbeit this kind goeth out not but by prayer and fasting." I do testify of the power of fasting and prayer. Fasting is serious tool! Deny yourself of wordly things to increase spirituality. We may not get immediately what we fast for, but we will become humble and sensitive enough to know HOW to ask Heavenly Father for something, therefore aligning with 3rd Nephi 18:20 and Moroni 10:4 about "How to get our prayers answered" :) So in increasing our reservoirs, the best counsel i could think to offer would be consistency, effective study, FAITH, and an understanding of the Plan of Salvation. Trials WILL and SHOULD come. If they don't, are we growing? How can we increase our muscular strength if we never increase the weight? So how can Heavenly Father get us nice and spiritually built if He never allows the weight to increase? I know that this life is preparatory. Trials can come. I don't challenge God, but I trust Him and know He will never forsake us or our family. He lives!! In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

So... sorry i got carried away. But there's some food for thought! We have some baptisms coming up this week. And the next week. and the next week! 3 weeks in a row! Wonderfully prepared people. Langata branch is growing. As for the area, all is well here. Elder Omara rocks, we're having fun! And Jessie, i will not miss your graduation if it is the week of December 15th. Chances are i will be home before that, considering it will be so close to Christmas. It all depends on where the new transfer begins. I may be able to see you walk! And trip! And knock over the podium! And land it on the President of BYU-I! And then everybody will start punching each other because of the mass pandemonium which you commenced and people will be bleeding and DYING and VOMITING and AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Ok hopefully not that.

Anyways, love you all. Miss your humor. Don't be afraid to send a picture from 3 Amigos, like Dad did. Thank you Dad, i laughed out loud. And people in here looked at me funny. And Daniel, at the request of Jessie, i am going to BEAT you when i get home. So prepare yourself kid. You are my eternal family and i love you :) Don't worry, be happy!

With eternal love, Elder Schneider, the II

Just thought I would share a little story. The glorious joys of missionary work. Learning the hard way and undergoing real testing is sometimes the way your testimony can grow the fastest. I am thankful for what happened.
This past week, a man stopped me, looked me in the eyes and said, "There is no God, you are wasting your time. You should be home getting drunk, smoking, and (breaking the law of chastity, but he said it much more crudely). Go home, give this up, quit carrying around a heavy backpack and go home." No joke, he said that to my face. I looked him back in the eye, and confidently bore my testimony about how I CHOSE to come out here, I will NEVER go home until my time is up, and I KNOW that God lives, and no force in the Universe will make me deny it. He respected my testimony and gave us his business card, wants to meet sometime :)
I know this is the truth. I could do anything the Lord commanded, and I will. Often tho, the Lord sees if we will do the small and simple things. Will we read our scriptures daily? Will we get to the temple? Will we pray every morning and night on our knees, and speak to our Father who so much desires to speak with us? Most of us won't be called to be an apostle, a prophet, or a martyr. Yet our judgment must be derived from what we were faced with and what we did with it. I love you all, just thought i would share this story :)
Love, Conrad