Middle of April

What the snot? The middle of April?

Uh... so my companion and I were fritzing out a little bit. No, not Fritz Schmutz, fritzing as in freaking out cuz it's already April and i have 8 months left and he has 11. But how is Fritz Schmutz, anyway? Love that guy. somebody let him know that the Keens he bought me held up fantastic while i was in the bush for a whole year, and now that i am in the city, the Ecco's are doing amazing. They still look tip top shape after 5 months. I gave the Keens to a man in the Kilungu Hills who needed some decent shoes. They are still serving well :)

Ok i'm confused... Does anybody disagree with me naming the chick "Nacho Cheese"? Cuz uh... nobody even said anything. I mean, i call him Cheese and i hear that nobody liked it, then i name him Nacho Cheese  and i can just picture everybody hearing that and going, "Oh thank Heavens. Cheese was a horrible name but Nacho Cheese is so cute and fitting. Whew, good thing Connor's got his head on straight!" So uh... feedback on that? And on the nickname of Sunny? Ya'll can call him Sunny but remember the one stipulation (his on-record name).

This week was pretty fun. Our toilet had a leak and so we were exacting some measures to stop the leakage from spreading. Our caretaker couldn't fix it for like 4 days. It was a struggle. But now that it was fixed (on Saturday) we cleaned it up today. All is well in the bathroom, yea, the bathroom prospereth. We actually cleaned the house today and it's shiny. And i did all my wash today. My fingers are rubbed raw haha. I look like a 7 year old with bandaids on like 3 of my fingers. They usually don't rub raw anymore, but i did alot of wash so maybe that's why. Also this week i went on exchanges with an Elder Thomas from America. He is only about 2 months old on mission, so i got to have lots of chats with him. He is doing ok, had to adjust, but he has a great trainer and is surrounded by very good people (something i didn't exactly have) and is really doing better. You can bet i had flashbacks during that exchange of my first transfers. Flippin strange how time flies and suddenly you may be going to your last area at the end of this transfer! Oh yeah, did i tell you that this guy named Paul Peterson, who lives in St. George, came back to Kenya for a few days and brought me delicious American candy?!?!?! Reeses, Snickers, etc. MMMMM!!!!!! He had been attending Langata branch while working for the past few years, and only recently went home when Elder Gideon got here. He came back for a few days and because he's awesome, brought us candies :)

This coming week, it looks pretty normal. We finally get to watch General Conference this weekend!!! I hear it was awesome. I know you guys had fun in your pajamas at home. Grr..... enjoy that and thank the Lord for it. You probably ate fancy foods like Doritos and Bean Dip and Goldfish. And popcorn. Well hopefully a little healthier than that. Did you eat cheese? Golly i miss cheese... OH MY GOODNESS! WHEN I COME HOME I'M GONNA EAT SO MUCH HOME FOODS THAT I'M GONNA GET SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok. I'm losing my head a little bit. But you'll know why when i get home and explain in great detail about some of the things here...

Want a story? Cuz i would love to tell you all one:
STORYTIME!!!!!!!
Near the end of March, we were running low on money cuz we spent alot stocking up goodies and junk food for the lock-in during election time in early March. So we were riding in a matatu and i was on the second row of seats. My companion was behind me because he was sitting with another missionary we were housing temporarily due to a little situation. There was a space next to me and a woman gets in at one of the stops. She gets in, eyeballs me weird, and i can see she's looking at my name tag so naturally i start to talk to her. I explain my tag and my name and what we do, and she flat out says where she stays and that we need to come visit her. So we gave her something to read, and that week in March when we were a little bit strapped for cash we stop in her restaurant (they call them hotels here, they are like little dinky restaurants). Well we were flippin hungry, and we go in. Immediately she brings us a fresh made cup of thick juice. Free! Then she starts feeding us some stuff! In some later visits, she and her husband (Moureen and Wycliffe) have the Book of Mormon, and her husband has actually met missionaries before. But now, he admits, he is more mature and has serious questions and interests in what we're doing. Crazy how the Lord provides for us. Another woman later in the week literally bought us a chicken, simply because she loved us and how we talked to her and treated her. Don't worry, she's like, in her 40's or 50's. Her name is Jane, and we are also visiting her! The Lord fed us and took care of us :) :)

Time for me to go. Preparation day is almost over and we gots work to do! (Major Payne): Preaching is mah business ladies, and bus - ness - is - guuuuud!

Love you all forever and ever and ever :)
Conrad

Nacho Cheese

[Just an explanatory note:  We purchased 6 chicks and each of us got to name our chick.  Conrad decided to name his "cheese".  I think some said they didn't like the name, so this is his response to that, and then the rest of his email.  -Conrad's Dad.]

Well what's the problem, are ya all lactose intolerant?!?! HUH?!?!?! Considering you all (according to what Mom told me) dislike the kingly name i gave to mah chick, i decided to change it to something more fitting - "NACHO CHEESE"!!!!!!! Ya know WHY?!?!? CUZ, he's NOT-YO CHEESE, he's MMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY CHEESE!!!!!!!! So you may now refer to him as Nacho Cheese!!!!!!!!!

........ But i am merciful. His/her NICKNAME can be Sunny. BUT, on one condition. ANYTIME you introduce him/her to anybody, you must mention that Sunny's REAL name is Nacho Cheese. Deal? Deal.

I have so much time today... and i didn't get an email from Jessie, Danny, or Benny, so i don't have much to talk about. How about school? I really don't know what to do. I haven't given it as much thought as it deserves, that's for sure. But even so, I just don't know. I am going to give it careful and prayerful deliberation this week. Hopefully it is in the Lord's plan to let me know His will concerning the matter by this week. He may not care when i do it, but He might. So we'll see. If you could all keep it in your prayers and stuff, i would also appreciate it. This really is a big decision to make for me, so help me a wee bit lads and laddies!

Last week, we had some really great discussions! We met a man who had come in contact with missionaries like, 5 years ago, and that never went anywhere. But NOW, things are going well. He is interested, we were able to go in and answer ALL his questions, plus more. He and his wife are interested and reading the BOM. We are praying that it move forward.

We also had one of the coolest sacrament meetings i have had in a long while. For some reason, the Spirit there was very strong. I learned much from the testimonies borne and i was edified and uplifted by them. Spencer W. Kimball talked about sacrament meetings once, and spoke of how the main purpose for sacrament meeting is personal worship of the Lord Jesus Christ. That means that even if the speakers are bad or strange or something, we can still have a spiritually active and uplifting sacrament meeting! I have been keeping that in mind, and it helps alot. Especially where the Church is young and growing.

Also this week, we helped and uplifted a lot of people. I have been LOVING the work now. To be honest, earlier in the mission it was so darn tough, whether because of disobedient or bad companions, physical exertions, or simply because i was too stressed out! Now, though, I feel good. I have a constant desire to get out and preach and teach and uplift and share with people. It is never too late to improve and become better. This Gospel has saved our lives. Sometimes we lose sight of that! But not only did the Gospel and Church and Lord give us our luxuries, but He simply gave us all. Everything is a blessing, because i have seen and been with people who have LITERALLY nothing. No luxuries, no home, no health, no wealth, no stability, nothing. It is horribly sad, but that's why our work as missionaries is easily and duly motivated - because people need it! Somebody's gotta invite people, and I'm happy to do it, even with all my weaknesses and stuff.

This coming week we have baptisms on Sunday!!!! :D 2 very prepared and awesome ladies named Melen and Catherine. 14th is their day! We have more following them soon. This week we are also going to go on exchanges with some Elders in Rongai, which is in our zone. And we are going to do a joint street contacting session on Saturday for the Rongai branch open house that is going down. Should be pretty awesome. We just get to be social and talky as missionaries on the street for like 2 or 3 hours. The sun is pretty hot (haha, in case you didn't know) so that is a lil hindrance. But we stay pretty hydrated. I drink liters every day. And i urinate once! Except at home i urinate more cuz it's decently cool.

One week from today is my 16 month mark! OH MY GOODNESS!!!! Do you realize i have only 8 months left?! this time last year i was training Elder Arineitwe. Man, don't know what he's doing now. I have no way to contact him except to write a letter and get it to his branch in Uganda. We'll see about that. But also, i'll be calling home in like, a month! FOR DUH LAST TIME!!!!!!! Wow. School is really stressing me out, the thought of it all and stuff. Gosh! (Napolean Dynamite)

I hope you can see how BORED I am. Sorry i forgot to send pics, i will next week (hopefully if i remember). I wish something super cool had happened to tell you about, but i have learned to be careful wishing for those things, cuz those end up being stressful or scary in the moment, then cool later. But one cool thing is that when an appointment gets cancelled, something miraculously gets opened up or provided for us. We work on the Lord's time in such a way that we do what He needs done, and He helps it happen. Even if like, we go over time in a great lesson and are late for the next, we'll find out that for some reason the person we were going to see would also be late or not there, so it works out perfect. No coincidences out here.

Well i love every last one of ya! You are my best friends and i miss you guys. Really i do. Just your associations and friendships and senses of humor and your lifestyles and everything! Blah... We're going to family home evening at Sister Jepkemei's home tonight. That will be fun :) I love and miss you all and i love the work in which i am engaged. This Church is true and all things in it are the truth. Never doubt the Lord or the surety of deliverance and help that comes from Him through prayer. Pray often and sincerely and speak to your Father. Count your blessings, get to the temple. Make your brother stop telling you what to do ;)

I guess to close this email, i can include some words of wisdom that have really helped me alot:

"Ok class, i'm on a hangover. Who knows what that means?"
"It means you're drunk!"
"Wrong! It means i was drunk YESTERDAY." -Jack Black, School of Rock

"GET THAT CORN OUTTA MAH FACE!" -Jack Black, Nacho Libre

"(walking in a dark tunnel) Ah man, we're gonna die in here!"
"Hey now, come on! That's what they said at the Alamo!" -Twitchy and the Wolf, Hoodwinked

Now i hope you guys get this one. If not, cuz you may not, go watch it:

"I never get anything shiny..."
"Yeah... but you know what else is shiny?"
"ICE CREAM!"
"RIGHT!!!!!" -Our Family Icon

Love you all to infinity and beyond. The counsel from Woody to Buzz, "YOU ARE A TOY!", does not apply to you all. You are human beings and i love you! Have a fantastic week, and please smile and look for opportunities to help people every day. The Lord places them there. The most powerful sermons are preached through our actions! You are powerful people and i respect and love each one of you.

Love you forever, Conrad

Merry Christmas Daniel!!!!!

Haha, the title was a play on the "Frosty the Snowman" famous line... get it? ......No? Well FINE!!!!!

So as Daniel surely knows by now, hoping that he has read my personal email to him, i wrote him a poem impromptu for his birthday. I would love to include it now:

I am here in Africa, you're in a different part,
But i feel close to you, my bro, as this poem starts.
Back at home, you were young, i was quite young too,
But now you grew at least 3 feet, don't argue cuz it's true.
As for me, well, to speak truth, I'm not the tallest guy,
And as for growing taller, time for that has flown on by.
You are growing stronger, getting muscles of a man,
Flexing much and working out, and probably getting tan!
I am also getting bigger, losing all my fat,
"No carbs at night", says my dear comp, "and protein's where it's at."
I don't know why i threw that in, about proteins and all,
remember this is impromptu, (just trying not to fall)
Back to the point, of growing still, you're growing ever cool,
Perhaps the way i'm proudest, is your growth that's spiritual.
You read the scriptures, say your prayers, you go to Church each week,
Relationship with Father above, is what we need to seek.
You're kind and good, you know your standards. never let them down,
And when it is a choice, dear Danny, always smile, don't frown.
You have a gift, and not just one, you brought from pre-mortal life,
Developed there, you knew that they would help thru trial and strife.
Now go and do, as Nephi did, what Father and Brother expect,
Help the one, show love and care, and ne'er the one neglect!
Stop to say hi, give smiles and waves, and serve your fellow men,
For in the end, the way God works, it comes back to you again!
You are amazing, you have style, you are brave and sweet,
Can't wait to see your further growth, when in 7 months we meet.
I am here in Africa, you're in a different part,
But best friend Daniel, my dear brother, you are always in my heart.

I want everyone reading this email to know that Daniel is a wonderful son of God and has the most sincere and impressive testimony i've heard from a 10 year old (soon to be 11 year old). He ROCKS! And i ask everybody reading this to give him birthday kisses and birthday pinches and spankings and floggings and waterboardings and whippings and beatings and whoa..... wait sorry, not all that. Just kisses and pinches. Love you Daniel, Happy Birthday buddy :) I'll be around for the next one, don't worry :)

This Sunday we finally got to watch Conference. Awesome possums. Loved Conference and the direction given in it. There's still alot to analyze, but did anybody else feel like Elder Packer's talk might be his last? He seemed... kinda final-speechy, a bit. His talk was beautiful though, really enjoyed it. During the Sunday sessions, there were lots of monkeys outside. That's what i get for being in Kenya i guess. There were some climbing on the bars on the windows outside of the Church. They are small ones though, like a bit bigger than lemurs, some smaller than lemurs. Hahaha, i think i told Mom, but i saw one adolescent monkey bothering his mother, and the mother up and slapped that child so hard in the face!! The kid ran into a tree and was just looking at the mother until she walked off, and he followed her hahahaha!!!!!! Little baby monkeys were clinging to the belly of the mother as they climbed all around. The babies are so cute. They hang on for dear life until they are old enough to climb themselves. And the mothers are protective of their babies unto death. Africa... :)

Also, so we don't forget, PLEASE get me Bishop Lander's email PLEASE!!!!! Or even just tell him to email me if ya can. I need to talk to that guy. By the way, is he still bald? He should grow a bufont... a bulbous bufont...

This week was great. We had a zone fast for the purpose of gaining more investigators who are prepared to receive and act on the message of the Restoration. Well, as for me and my companion, we have received at least 2 or 3 people who are greatly prepared and full of questions and ready to learn. One, Sylvia, came with all sorts of questions about the Book of Mormon, wondering why she was so concerned with this Book. We taught her as best as we could by the Spirit. She is reading the Book now and wanting to meet again. Another, Kennedy, comes from Uganda. He came to Conference and was amazed at it all. He is eager to meet again and explore the feelings he felt :) I am confident they will be baptized. Melen and Catherine, the two women baptized last week, were confirmed this week. Ordinances complete! But no ordinance is complete without paperwork. Remember how Jesus gave Peter power to bind and seal on Earth and in Heaven? Well, when we do an ordinance by the Holy Priesthood, it is sealed and recorded in Heaven. But in order for that to happen on Earth, paperwork must be recorded. The angels and workers of the millennium will refer to that to double-check who needs what!

So basically life is good over here. I lost a bit of weight when i had that diarrhea so i am gaining it back but staying lean and working out with Elder Gideon. We're going running tomorrow morning, and at night i'm eating eggs, eggs, and more eggs. PROTEIN BABY!!!!!

Oh, and by the way, I GOT MY PACKAGE!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! GREAT PACKAGE GUYS!!!!!!!!! Thank you times infinity and beyond!!!!!!!!! GREAT stuff in there. The jump rope - holy cow! That'll last me til judgment day!!!! And those drink mix things - BRILLIANT IDEA!!! Please include in EVERY package many!!!! Wow.... i just paused in my excitement and looked back at that last sentence... that was wretched english, wasn't it? Anyway, that Holland book?!?! Grandma spent $50 on that book?!?!?! Holy mackerel Granny Phanny Franny Fanny!!!!! That thing is beautiful, and will keep me busy for some time, i think. Really, thanks so much guys :)

Bottom line of this email is this: Happy Birthday Daniel, i love you with all my heart and know that you will stick with Benny and Jessie as your great examples, with your Brother, Friend, and Savior Jesus Christ as your ultimate example. To everyone, I just can add that Jesus Christ is indeed our dear friend. He always longs to be closer, we only need to open up a little. He wants us to know His Atonement, but knows how important and deep it is, and therefore will not reveal it all at once. It will come in the Father's good time, and in His way. I have prayed since my mission started that i would know the Atonement better. Since the start of my mission, i have learned that i cannot comprehend what He felt. But i still wanted to know what it means to me. Well, after Conference ended, i reflected on how much they mentioned the Atonement, and i realized something. That the Atonement of Jesus Christ saves us, and shows that He loves us. It means that He was humble, submissive, peaceful, patient, and perfect in all ways. It means that I can be forgiven and be better. It means that daily life is hopeful and my future is bright and i need not worry about anything, so long as i love Him and keep His commandments. One can say these words (i have before!), but now i feel them. I testify of these things, and that they are true, in the name of Jesus Christ our Savior, Amen!

With love forever, Elder Schneider

Gobstoppers (Don't ask me, that's what Conrad put in the subject line)

So uh... i have absolutely no time, gotta get to FHE tonight and be with peeps!

So basically, as for the school thingy, i am thinking it may happen. I am good friends with one of the Assistants, Elder Haynes, and he said i should just go. I am getting that message from alot of people. I have a feeling that fulfilling the commandment to get school and start my life will bring blessings to us all. As well, things will be better off i think.

So besides that, you all sound great, and that's good news to me! The presidential loser, Raila Odinga, took the winner, Uhuru Kenyatta, to court because he thought he cheated. So depending on the outcome, we may go inside again :P We'll see.

I HEARD ELTON JOHN IN A BUS THIS WEEK!!!! :D

Love you all, talk to you very soon. Thanks for all your love and support. Your prayers are helping. I am steadily becoming what i want to be and i think what Heavenly Father wants me to be. I'll upload lots of pics next week :)

By the way, transfer news is the end of this week, might stay might leave. Also, President has me and some other music missionaries touring different branches in the mission to do a musical sacrament meeting. Going about 30 minutes outside Nairobi to a place called Athi River this week!!

Love you all forever!!! Long live the Lord's kingdom!!!!

Love, Conrad

Letter from President Broadbent

March 12, 2012

To:  Parents, Families, Branch, Stake and Mission Presidents of Missionaries serving in the Kenya Nairobi Mission:

We are grateful and happy to share with you that the Kenya presidential election was peaceful.  There were very few disturbances throughout the country.  All missionaries were safe throughout the week and spent the time studying, building relationships with each other and preparing for the time when they would again be able to resume missionary work.  
Missionaries are returning to their areas this week.  Transportation is now available; the roads are safe and traffic is moving well.  All areas where they serve have been declared safe.  We will continue to monitor all areas.   Food and water storage will continue to be readily available and missionaries know what to do if there is a need to ‘stay in the flats’ once again.
Thank you for your support, your faith and your prayers.  We have received a great blessing of peace and safety.  The Lord’s work continues to go forward with greater zeal and purpose.
Best regards,

President Steven H. Broadbent
Kenya Nairobi Mission

"I Survived Kenyan Elections 2013"

For sure i need a shirt that says that.

Well as the caption implies, i survived! And i don't think i have ever done more reading in my entire life! I read over 10 New Era magazines, The Spencer W. Kimball book, and probably over 30 or 40 hours in the scriptures. And as boring as it was at times, i have learned and grown much actually. Haha! Kinda surprised me what i learned and did. I also learned the basics of Afrikaans (Elder Gideon's mother tongue, it's like Dutch and they speak it in Capetown and parts of S.A.), learned some ball-handling soccer skills, and ate lots of food and worked out twice a day. Overall... i hope i never have to be stuck inside like that EVER AGAIN!!!!! MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

One thing i learned was about the future. Sometimes we really stress it, myself included. School, career, marriage, health, etc. But God can make all things possible! He DOES answer prayers, and we must believe that He does! But this time inside i have come to a knowledge of a few very important things. One is that prayer. Another is that if we rely on the Lord, what can daunt us? He is in complete control, and the future is bright when we rely on Him. Also, this church and every point of it is absolutely true. I read some Jehovah's Witness magazines with an open heart. They teach some truth, as all church's, even Islam, do. We should not frown on other churches. Why frown on those who are trying to make it back to Heaven, but don't know the way? But when one learns our doctrine and applies it, it is simply true. This is His kingdom, and we must uphold it.

Lastly is what President Packer advised me in one of the New Era's. A testimony is to be found in the bearing of it! If you don't know that Christ lives and is the Savior, bear testimony and the Holy Ghost will confirm! I love how President Packer said, "Bear testimony of things that you hope are true." AWESOME!!!! Please, eternal family, bear testimony often. Judge slowly. Love sincerely. Be and live healthy. Obey the commandments, including to pray often. I love you all with an undying, eternal love. See you soon enough :)

Love forever, Conrad (Elder Schneider)

From Mission President re: Elections

From: Steve and Julie BROADBENT [mailto:sbroad007@msn.com]
Sent: 27 February 2013 11:46 AM
To: Kenya Nairobi Mission; Steve and Julie BROADBENT
Subject:

To:  Parents, Families and Branch Presidents of Missionaries serving in the Kenya Nairobi Mission

As you may know, Kenya is preparing for a general presidential election on March 4, 2013.  In order to ensure the safety of missionaries serving in Kenya, we have implemented an Emergency Action Plan which will begin on Friday, March 1.

Missionaries serving in areas that potentially may have political disturbances will be moving to safe areas.  Those serving in Mombasa will transfer to Chyulu area for the election week and will be teaming up with missionaries serving there to continue missionary work.  Missionaries serving in Kisumu/Busia,  Naivasha and Nakuru will transport to Nairobi and stay with missionaries in safe flats on Friday or Saturday, March 1st and 2nd .  Missionaries serving in outlying areas in Kitale and Eldoret will stay with other missionaries in town and close to each other beginning March 1 or 2.  After arriving in their assigned areas, all missionaries will be staying inside for 4-6 days beginning Sunday after church or before if needed.  Preparations have been made for extra food and water for each missionary.  During these 4-6 days, we will all have the opportunity to study the gospel in depth.

Because the election is on a Monday, missionaries will be unable to use internet to send emails for that week.  Instead, we will be sending out updates to you from the mission office as the election process progresses.   We will also notify you when missionaries will be returning to their areas.  We expect this to be about 5 days after the election.

We have worked with Church Security in Salt Lake City, Africa Southeast Area Security, local embassies and others to prepare for this election time in Kenya.    Certainly the safety of each missionary is paramount and we have taken all necessary precautions.  We also know the Lord is guiding His work in this part of His vineyard and that it will continue to go forward with the blessing of vibrant and powerful missionaries.

We invite you to join with us in prayer and fasting on March 3, Fast Sunday, for a peaceful and positive results of the Kenya election and the safety of all members and missionaries.

We are grateful for the wonderful service of your missionary in the Kenya Nairobi Mission, called by a prophet through the Lord, Jesus Christ.

Sincerely,

President Steven H. Broadbent
Kenya Nairobi Mission